I DID IT!!!!! I DID IT!!!!! I'm so proud of myself and so happy and so relieved....it's hard to tell you all the emotions running through me right now.
The whole way to work yesterday morning I prayed for a clear direction on what to do - do I give my notice now or wait it out a little longer? I told God I really needed a "gut-punch" type feeling to know I'm doing what He wants me to do.
So around the breakfast table, the dad announces he is keeping kiddo home from school - juuuuuust like last Friday started out to be. (Turns out this time he actually kept the kid with him like he promised last week and didn't do) As soon as he said that, I had the most amazing feeling come over me - I knew what I had to do. And I suddenly didn't fear it anymore.
So after they left and the baby was napping, I typed out what I wanted to say and then wrote it in a letter. I only did the letter b/c I wasn't going to have any time to personally talk to the mom since she's been working late (8pm) every night this week. I was very proud of my letter - it was very professional and to the point - no blaming, no whining, just stating this is what I had to do for the sake of my own home. I wrote their names on it and left it on the kitchen table when I left work last night. I mentioned in the end of it that she could feel free to call me last night if she wanted to talk about it.
She didn't call and to be honest, I was a little worried that she was going to be REALLY upset. I prayed for continued peace on the way to work this morning, afraid I was going to be nervous about walking in the door to an unfamiliar situation, not knowing how either of them was going to react to the letter.
Turns out she didn't even read it until early this morning, but the reaction was better than I thought. She said they were disappointed to lose me, but she understood that I had to take care of my own home first. She also did exactly what I knew she was going to do - offer to put the baby in morning daycare and let me keep both kids in the afternoon. I told her I would think about it and talk to Jay, but I'm not going to take that offer. I want a clean break. To do afternoons would mean I'm still having to wait for her to show up in the evenings, deal with the dad being here half the time, the kid being nap-free when they decide to make that move, deal with both kids all day when they're out of school and especially spring-break, not get any days off or time off or sick days, only get my personal vacation when they decide to take theirs, and a whole lot of other reasons that made me decide to quit this job in the first place. I dont want to be here anymore - morning or afternoon. It's just too difficult - evenings are the times I need to be home, anyway. She did ask if I had anything lined up yet and if I would be willing to stay on longer if necessary, and I said no (to both). I told her I was still talking to a few ppl about PT options, but my quit date was firm. I know how that will go...."we need one more week" will happen about ten times until I just walk out. It just can't work.
I feel SO good about this - I'm so relieved it's over. The two hard parts were leaving the letter and walking in the door this morning to an unknown demeanor. But both worked out well and I'm happy about it. I know God will take care of us and bring along the perfect job for me and for our situation.
On another note, I got interviewed by Channel 4 News in the parking lot of Walmart this morning about the dangers of texting while driving. If they only knew, lol. I lied through my teeth when she asked if I ever texted while driving. (Who the heck answers that honestly when they're standing there with somebody else's child that you drive all over the place every single day?!?) So.....watch for me on the news today. Hopefully they wont show me b/c I looked awful and......was a little liar, lol.
=)
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