Really not a great day to blog - it's only 10:50am and I've already spent two hours crying. And I'm not even on BC anymore, lol, but I guess it is still in my system so that's partly why I cry so easily lately.
I got to work this morning, knowing the dad was back from his trip (for whatever it is he does) and I never know if he's going to be home all day, part of the day, in/out, etc. When I got there, the kiddo was watching cartoons downstairs (something frowned upon if I do it) and eating powdered donuts. I kept thinking, maybe this won't be such a bad day - after all, it IS Friday and tomorrow is my birthday and I get to spend it with my hubby. I got Allie up and got her breakfast and started making more bottles for her, and kiddo comes upstairs and says, "Guess what? I get to stay home from school today."
Sugar. (my new word that isn't nearly as satisfactory as the one it's replacing. but hey, i'm trying.)
So great. All my errands that I saved for today and the important lunch I was looking forward to having with my cousin, all shot down the drain. There is NO reason he should be staying home. He says he's going to help daddy pack for the camping trip that they are supposedly taking tonight (?), yet (as usual) as soon as he came upstairs to tell me, his dad disappeared into the infamous office to do important paperwork for the next 8 hours. So I'm stuck with a kid who got up at 5am, ate sugary donuts for breakfast, and has nothing to do all day. He should have gone to school, but plainly put - said parent didn't want to take him, yet still will have NOTHING to do with the responsibility of dealing with him during the day.
So I convinced kiddo (okay, pretty much said "this is how its going to be") to go to Monkey Joes or the park or something today. I cannot stay in the house with him all day long - I go insane. He is too high-maintenance and demanding to stay indoors all day. So I gave him the choice of where to go, but said we HAD to go somewhere.
Turns out dad wants him home by noon for their camping trip.....can I place a bet on this one? I would bet my ENTIRE bank account that they won't leave before at least 3pm. Also, kiddo is supposed to have a dr appt at 4 this afternoon......wonder if he realizes that or not. Every single time he says to have him back by a certain time, it's still another two hours before they leave. I have never seen someone take so long to get out the door.....it's all in the disorganization that is this house.
I was so frustrated over all this that I just cried. I couldn't stop it. I know I bitch about this job a lot, but to be honest, I truly feel like I'm going to have an emotional breakdown at some point. I feel so taken advantage of, like they just do whatever they want and if it inconvienences them, then I am the one who has to clean up the mess. I know it's their house and their kids - but I am still a person and I have feelings. I have my own life and it does not revolve around them or their kids, house, dog, belonging, wishes, etc. I feel like I have no time for me and for us or for my own house or any of my own wishes. I have no time to make appts for myself or do anything unrelated to kids unless it's done at 8pm. It's only getting worse here and I hate it more and more. I really do try to be happy about things - coming in the door with the attitude that I am going to make it a good day and be happy, and then they do one of those things that is so disrespectful and discourteous of MY time and I get all pissed off again.
On another note, tomorrow is my birthday and I was hoping today would be a good day so I wouldn't be so tired for it tomorrow but.....oh well. Not sure what we're doing tomorrow......hope I'm surprised. =)
On yet another note, I would like to say I have the best friends in the world. I know I complain out the wazoo about this job to you guys and you always listen and encourage me and have yet to hang up on me while I go and on. Thanks for all you do for me. =)
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