I'll start this one off by saying, if you are not a woman, you probably will not want to read much further. And furthermore, if you are a male family member who has to see me on a regular or even not-so-regular basis, you probably will want to skip this one or you won't be able to look at me normally ever again. =)
That said - we're going to talk about birth control today. About a year and a half ago, I started on Ortho-Tri-Cyclen and loved it. To back up a little, we had been talking about a spring wedding then and I wanted time to get used to a pill and time to change it if necessary. So anyway, I was on that for 5 months with no real issues. Then I had 2 months straight of breakthrough bleeding, so I changed over to Alesse - same problem. So I went off everything. I did notice while I was on those that I was a lot more sensitive and cried (often, Jay says, though I didn't think it was that often, lol). So I started on the Nuvaring at the beginning of November, a few weeks after our wedding. I researched it a lot and it seemed really great and simple - I didn't have a hard time remembering to take a pill, I just set my phone alarm and never had an issue. The ring seemed really nice in that you only have to change it out every 3 weeks. The first month of was super - I did have some nausea once or twice in the first couple of weeks, but nothing other than that. You can't feel it (really!) and it was simple to use. The second month I got a little breakthrough the day before it was supposed to come out (Christmas!) and it kinda went downhill from there. I had breakthrough off/on before and after my period, and then this month - breakthrough started like crazy TWO WEEKS AGO and hasn't stopped. So after some serious praying and researching, I think we're gonna ditch it. I've had nonstop nausea since the week of Christmas and it's gone from just annoying to puking like crazy some days. I've had enough. I hate to give it up so soon, b/c I know it's normal to have breakthrough sometimes in the first 3-4 months, and this was the 3rd month, but the thought of going another month like this just makes me so sad. And I can tell the hormones are changing my moods - I cry over nothing these days. It's hard on him when I cry and especially when I can't tell him WHY I'm crying - I dont know why. So I'm going off it and I'm SO excited about feeling normal again. I think hormonal BC just is not for me. I know there are hundreds of kinds of pills out there, but think about it - you try one pill for 3-4 months to wait out the "side effect" period of it, turns out that one doesnt work, so you try another one for 3-4 months to see if it's going to work for you, it doesn't, and so on so forth. You could spend years trying to find one medicine that works and by then, you defeat the purpose b/c once you find one, it will be baby time, and then you don't need it for a year or so.......it just feels like an endless cycle and I'm ready to be rid of it. I've been researching another "natural" method and am going by B&N today to pick up a book on it. It's a little scary b/c of you're off by just one day.........welcome to parenthood.
On that note, my baby fever comes and goes. Part of me wants it so I can get the heck out of this job, but that certainly isn't my only reason, since it's a pretty selfish one. I want it, but (as of this moment right now, lol) not right now. Soon. I've been putting in applications for anything I think I could handle for a year or so, just to get out of here. Last Monday's speech was ridiculous and I feel trapped thinking "if I ask for any day off, they're going to say no and I'm screwed." I never see Jay with this work schedule and we're trying to make a weekend to get away just for a couple of days, but I can't even ask off for a Friday afternoon. It's so stupid. I get frustrated with days like Friday and yesterday, when one or both parents are home, off work, and have the prime opportunity to spend time with their children, time they NEVER spend with their children and constantly complain about not having that time. Perfect chance, but no - they want the nanny here so they can galavant off on their shopping sprees or spa days or whatever it is they do, and I'm left with a 5-yr old who (literally) asked me three times yesterday why his mommy doesnt want to play with him when she's home. How am I supposed to answer that?
Today I'm (finally) left alone and the baby is napping (yay). I'm meeting my friend Sarah for lunch and then gotta pick up the kiddo from school. This will be the first day I am not bringing him a snack or juice as soon as he gets in the car. He doesnt need it - it's just a habit. There was a day a few weeks ago where his class ate lunch at Chick-Fil-A and he threw a fit b/c I didn't bring him a snack. He didn't need it - he just ate. But it's been an ingrained habit for three years now and I'm breaking it. I've been reminding him every day for 2 weeks - when you turn 5, no more snacks in the car. And he was FINE with it.....until he saw the chance to manipulate his mom into it and told her I wasn't allowed him to ever have any snacks ever again. Little liar. I explained the situation to her and told her my back seat is pretty much ruined from all the ground in food and spilled juice, and she agreed (wow) and he is no longer eating in my car. We go straight from school to home (5 mins, tops) and then he eats lunch. He's not gonna starve to death; like I said, it's just a dumb habit. He's so used to getting his way all the time and having everybody bring him something - food or a present or whatever, and is very spoiled. He wants something, he gets it or throws a fit and they give in.....then I'm left to pick up the pieces.
Annnnnyway, that's about all that's been going on - sick from the BC, can't wait to get off it, and I hate my job. All in a nutshell. =)
No comments:
Post a Comment