May 2, 2010

I went to Mom and Dad's house yesterday and spent most of the day with my sister. Mom wanted to go to Woodruff to visit Grandma and Dad was gone to Statesville for the day, so it gave me some time to spend with her alone. I helped her get all her clothing and toiletries put away in my old bedroom/bathroom and we got to talk a lot. She is finally beginning to understand what it is that she has and what it is doing to her right now. There is a bit of denial or maybe just misunderstanding in how much time she has left on this earth. I tried to broach that subject but she didn't really seem to understand or what to hear the real information. She seems to think she has at least 2 years or maybe even 3, and maybe she does, but according to all the info on the Internet and from doctors, that's just not the truth. She has an appt on Monday with Dr. Mina and I hope it wont be information-overload. She will finally get to hear just what the true pathology is and what the treatment options will be, should she choose to take treatments. Right now she's not sure she even wants to have treatment b/c she is so afraid to be so sick. It is totally her decision and I can't say that in that position, I would even want treatments. I've seen firsthand what they do to a person.....it's a very difficult choice to make, for sure. But I will stand beside her no matter what she chooses and I want to be there as much as possible in the coming months. If she chooses no treatment, the prognosis is usually less than 6 months, depending on how bad the GBM has already spread. She did have a horrible headache yesterday morning that almost caused a trip to the ER, so I wonder if there is already spreading going on, but I guess we wont know for sure until the appt Monday. A lot to think about in a short amount of time. She did say she is totally at peace about dying and her only regrets are those she is leaving behind.....we had a nice crying-fest about that one, but I am glad she feels so at peace about it. I can't say that I would feel that way if I were in her shoes. Who knows how anyone would feel in that position?

Praying w/o ceasing, b/c our God is in the miracle-making business.